Being Poured Out as an Offering, Spiritual Dejection and Exhaustion!

By: +Joseph Thaddeus, O.S.B., SSJt., Ph.D.

         After having received several letters from inmates that write to as well as monk in Michigan, I have cried within for I am shamed within for their praises of thanksgiving, although welcomed in part, actually does little for my soul for therein lies the access for ego and self-image to gain ground unless I constantly maintain vigilance in both spirit and truth!  It is interesting that of those who are far off in other fields both geographically and otherwise; I find those closer to my residence are usually the most spiteful and negative, constantly vexing us and our work in both spirit and truth because they refuse and reject the Life and Teachings of Jesus Christ at the ground, root and base of all things Christian which is based in what is termed “Orthodox Catholic Christianity” or “Orthodoxy” that existed prior to the schism or separation of the Roman Jurisdiction unto its own alterations and modifications of those very same teachings.

         As a spiritual father in the vineyard of Jesus Christ, I find myself often dejected, rejected and even exhausted from time to time.  Yet, am I, as a Servant of our Lord, like him and the Holy Apostles, being poured out as an offering?  Spiritual Dejection? Exhaustion? I am but a human being consecrated to serve… and serve I must, with all my being through, and by the Grace of the Holy Spirit!

         Only through sincere and honest meditation, contemplation, and prayer do the answers come through in part.  But the answer for my unworthy self may not always be the answer for you dear brothers in Jesus Christ.  Notice that I say the full name, Jesus Christ for in these End Times that we find ourselves, there are many who claim “Christ” but know not the “Christ” they serve and worship for they have become more of the entertainment mentality, those who have imbibed of man’s politics within and outside the Church which is become a very grave sin indeed for it takes away from service to God and His Children which we are ordained and consecrated our very lives for.

         While the true Church of which we are a part is not a “denomination” – we must admit that the Roman Jurisdiction has bedded down with many “denominations” and become one themselves without forethought, having therefore ceded from the root, ground and base of all things Christian which is Orthodox Catholic Christianity itself.  Thus, we are not a denomination for we, according to our nature and ability to so do in both spirit and truth, maintain all that is in accord with that which existed and came down to us through time and history by the Grace of God through the Life and Teachings of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!

         It is because of these many things that I pose much of this for each of you who are true servants to consider for yourselves daily!

         “If I am being poured out as a drink offering on the sacrifice and service of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all” (Philippians 2:17) and “I am already being poured out as a drink offering” (2 Timothy 4:6).

         Are you willing to sacrifice yourself for the work of another believer – to pour out your life sacrificially for the ministry and faith of others? Or, do you say, “I am not willing to be poured out right now, and I don’t want God to tell me how to serve Him.  I want to choose the place of my own sacrifice.  And I want to have certain people watching me and saying, ‘Well done.’ ”

         Look within yourself!  While those words may not have been uttered from your lips nor crossed your conscious mind… have they not been, by your actions, what exists in your soul and your subconscious? 

         It is one thing to follow God’s way of service if you are regarded as something of a ‘hero’ or ‘master’; but quite another thing if the road marked out for you by God requires becoming a “doormat” under other people’s feet. 

         God’s purpose may be to teach you to say, “I know how to be abased…” (Philippians 4:12). 

         Are you ready to be sacrificed like that?  Are you ready to be less than a mere drop in the bucket - - - to be so totally insignificant that no one remembers you even if they think of those your served? 

         Are you willing to give and be poured out until you are used up and exhausted – not seeking to be ministered to, but to minister?

         Some saints cannot do menial work while maintaining a saintly attitude, because they feel such service is beneath their dignity!

         Are you ready to be poured out as an offering? It is an act of your will, not your emotions. And, we must admit that there are many who have come to be clergymen who have acted on their emotions more than their will without forethought!  A will that is willing to condemn themselves to the most utterly impoverished conditions of life and hatred of people in the long run with foreknowledge is often misunderstood as simple piety until they (for lack of better words) ‘get their feet wet’ in the vineyard!

         Accept the consequences as they come without complaints in spite of what God may send your way.  God sends you through a crisis in private where no other person can help you.  From the outside your life may appear to be the same, but the difference is taking place in your will. Once you have experienced the crisis in your will, you will take no thought of the cost when it begins to affect you externally.  If you don’t deal with God on the level of your will first, the result will be only to arouse sympathy for yourself.

         “Bind the sacrifice with cords to the horns of the altar” (Psalm 118:27).  You must be willing to be placed on the altar and go through the fire; willing to experience what the altar represents - - - burning, purification, and separation for only one purpose - - - the elimination of every desire and affection not grounded in or directed toward God.  But you don’t eliminate it, God does. 

         You “bind the sacrifice . . . .to the horns of the altar” and see to it that you don’t wallow in self-pity once the fire begins.  After you have gone through the fire, there will be nothing that will be able to trouble or depress you.  When another crisis arises, you will realize that things cannot touch you as they used to. What fire lies ahead in your life?

         Tell God you are ready to be poured out as an offering, and God will prove Himself to be all you ever dreamed He would be.

         “We were hoping that it was He who was going to redeem Israel. Indeed, besides all this, today is the third day since these things happened…” (Luke 24:21).

         Every fact that the disciples (Apostles) stated were right, but the conclusions they drew from those facts were wrong.  Anything that has even a hint of dejection spiritually is always wrong!

         If I am depressed or burdened, I am to blame, not God or anyone else.

         Dejection stems from one of two sources - - - I have either satisfied a lust or I have not had it satisfied.  In either case, dejection is the result.  Lust means “I must have it at once!”

         Spiritual lust causes me to demand an answer from God, instead of seeking God Himself who gives the answer.  What have I been hoping or trust God would do?

         Is today “the third day” and He has still not done what I expected?  Am I therefore justified in being dejected and in blaming God?  Whenever we insist that God should give us an answer to prayer we are off track.

         The purpose of prayer is that we get a hold of God, not of the answer.  It is impossible to be well physically and to be dejected, because dejection is a sign of sickness.  This is also true spiritually. Dejection spiritually is wrong, and we are always to blame for it!

         We look for vision from heaven and for earth shaking events to see God’s power.  Even the fact that we are dejected is proof that we do this.  Yet we never realize that all the time God is at work in our everyday events and in the people around us.  If we will only obey, and do the task that He has placed closest to us, we will see Him.

         One of the most amazing revelations of God comes to us when we learn that it is in the everyday things of life that we realize the magnificent deity of Jesus Christ!

         “The everlasting God . . . neither faints nor is weary” (Isaiah 40:28).

         Exhaustion means that our vital energies are completely worn out and spent.  Spiritual exhaustion is never the result of sin, but of service.

         Whether or not you experience exhaustion will depend on where you get your supplies.  Jesus said to Peter, “Feed my sheep,” but He gave him nothing with which to feed them (John 21:17). 

         The process of being made broken bread and pour-out wine means that you have to be the nourishment for other people’s souls until they learn to feed on God.  They must drain you completely - - - to the very last drop.  But, be careful to replenish your supply, or you will quickly be utterly exhausted.

         Until others learn to draw on the life of the Lord Jesus Christ directly, they will have to draw on His life through you.  You must literally be their source of supply until they learn to take their nourishment from God.  We owe it to God to be our best for His lambs and sheep, as well as for Him.

         Have you delivered yourself over to exhaustion because of the way you have been serving God?  If so, then renew and rekindle your desires and affections. 

         Examine your reasons for service.

         Is your source based on your own understanding or is it grounded on the redemption of Jesus Christ?

         Continually look back to the foundation of your love and affection and remember where your Source of power lies.

         You have no right to complain, “O Lord, I am so exhausted.” He saved and sanctified you to exhaust you.  Be exhausted for God, but remember that He is your supply.  “All my springs are in you” (Psalm 87:7).

•Ancient Canons/Seven Ecumenical Councils  

•An Understanding of the Ancient Canons

• Ancient Canons/Seven Ecumenical Councils

• A bit of understanding about the Fundamentalist Cults....

• Modern Day Ecumenism and its horrors

•  How Many Times

• New Warrior Ministries

• VINE & CROSSROADS of Faith Newsletter  - On-line!

• True Christian or Not?